cleolinda on the whole Bella/Edward sex (or lack thereof and ensuing angst) thing:

"Oh Lord, Bella's decided that she wants to lose her virginity before she becomes a vampire. But he won't do that if they're not married! But she won't marry him if he won't let her become a vampire! But she won't let him make her a vampire unless he takes her cherry first! Dude, it's like that riddle about the fox and the goose and the bag of wheat trying to cross the river on a boat made for two."

I LAUGHED SO HARD. SO HARD.

And oh, Stephenie Meyer, you're funny:

Interviewer: "There's been some speculation on the internet..... about Edward being an abusive boyfriend..... ?"

Meyer: "Yeah, yeah, OK. There's a lot of stuff online that has, honestly, broken my heart recently. It is difficult to read things that take such a negative spin on something that is very personal and also makes a lot of sense inside your head [...] I think that people sometimes will go out looking for the negative when really if they gave them the right intentions, I think they are understanding characters better. But it is hard to read."

I wish I were kidding.

And in conclusion, this icon wins forever and ever: